Is it just me, or is it the caffeine...?

|Author: Amber|

I haven’t felt relaxed in a long time.

I haven’t done sunrise or sunset yoga with Anjanee in weeks. I haven’t really worked out since the trek I went on two months ago. I haven’t been joining in on social adventures with the other GCIL students for a couple weeks now for fear that if I break my train of thought or my momentum I may never gain it back. I feel exhausted and jittery every night when I come back to ISI after a day working on our project: I have been at Third Wave Coffee Roasters more than the canteen in the past 3 weeks--the baristas even know me now. Third Wave is a place where I know I can enjoy a nostalgic macha latte and have access to fast, pretty reliable free wifi. I spend 10 plus hours here on my laptop networking, researching, writing, discussing or creating something for our project. We did the same thing today, and now I’ve finally gotten a chance to write my blog at 3:51 am. Like I said, who needs sleep anyways?

I said 'project', but I really mean something else... I can’t go so far as to call it a start-up, but as I have iterated in my previous blog, it is something slightly more real than a school project. At this point, the reason I mentioned before is not quite the same reason it is now, but the fact of the matter is, it is real and I am still invested in it. In fact, part of the reason why this project is so addicting to me is because our idea and efforts have attracted outside interest. Even in this last week, in these last few days, we have met several incredible people.

One man we met through Hasiru Dala Innovations who helped us rethink our business model. He had worked for Hasiru Dala 5 years ago and helped get Hasiru Dala Innovations off the ground back then. From what started as a business model analysis soon turned into a discussion about deep human engagement. He spoke so eloquently about the value of human interaction and digging deep into the human psyche, I felt some physical energy erupt inside of me. Such powerful thoughts and delivery. Awesome way to start the day.

That evening, I met a man I had been networking with through 3 layers of people--a shout out to my mom for connecting me to him. I was initially told through one contact that he lived up in Delhi and my odds for meeting him felt slim. After an exchange of one email, we were able to arrange a date and location to meet for what ended up as a 3 and a half hour conversation about fast fashion and what it means to make an impact. He even asked to join us for our collection drive on Saturday, just out of pure curiosity. How awesome. Honestly, what are the odds that this guy is in Bangalore at the same time as me? It’s crazy how things like this work out, I just wish I could have met him sooner...

Sooner...I feel like Clara talking in “only” terminology. I’ve done my best to divert from using that word after freaking out about it last week. “Only 2 weeks left on our program; only one weekend to test our prototype; only a few more weeks until school; only a few months left until Panama…” Now, we only have 7 days left--does that remind anyone else of the phone call from The Ring? Sorry, bad joke…

As I wrap up this blog, my last blog, with my heart still beating out of sync in some strange post-caffeinated-no-sleep-disillusionment, I must say that this is exactly the feeling I had been hoping for. For me, it marks a milestone in effort. I feel like if I don’t experience some sort of physical, mental or emotional discomfort in achieving something, I was not working hard enough. I was told once that if it doesn’t feel like you’re working hard, then you’re not. So thank you GCIL, for letting me get out of you what I put in. Here’s to another 7 days!

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