I need to follow a path
An overwhelming swirl of emotions. From frustration to confusion to exhaustion—all wrapped up in an already chaotic brain. More pressure and stress accompany the phrase that circulates in my mind throughout my life: “I don’t know.” This phrase—having been more evident as I reside in India for these few months—continues to resonate as my team and I take cautious steps towards addressing a grand challenge.
One step forward as we further our understanding and attempt to identify a grand challenge we would be interested in making some progress in. In order to get the bigger picture, it is important to go out and embrace multiple stories, multiple viewpoints, multiple visions. And this is where the uncertainty hits. Everyone has such valuable perspectives, but how does one piece together these different points of view? How does one formulate a compromise between what seems to be conflicting perspectives, missions, and desires?
I don’t know. I don’t know how to juggle such differing views in a way that would make everyone okay with the end result; that would allow every voice to be heard. It’s difficult to make a decision when taking into account these growing number of voices.
Even taking one step backwards is welcomed. Stumbling back seems like a good learning experience because you can move forward in another direction. You can choose to take a step on a much sturdier surface—one without cracks and jagged pieces. But when I—to a fault—care too much about everyone, I reach a dilemma. Pulled in all directions, I am at a stalemate: no progress whatsoever. Lost. With no idea as to how I can approach it.
Through this time, it's evident to me that I need to let go of the thought of trying to make everyone happy because that is just not plausible. Just to prevent from going too insane, I have to remind myself that I need to follow a path. Whether it means others will be left unsatisfied, I need to trust my own gut, take some control, and make what seems like the best move.